


Feels So Free

by angeredthoughts



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explosions, Hurt Dean Winchester, I am not sure you wanna read this, M/M, No Beta, POV Dean Winchester, Physical hurt/comfort, This will hurt, hurt!Dean, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-27 14:10:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angeredthoughts/pseuds/angeredthoughts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has to hold on... but what's he holding onto?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feels So Free

**Author's Note:**

> In the middle of eating, this popped into my head.  
> I'm blaming Lucifer.

Everything was muffled and clouded in smoke. He was sure there was ash as well, but he was too busy trying to catch his breath. There was something warm and wet trickling down his neck. It felt sticky as well. He didn’t like it. He tried to move his arm, but it was trapped beneath something. A low groan slipped from his lips followed by the most painful coughing experience of his life. He’d broken ribs before but it had never felt like this. The air was slowly clearing and he lifted his head, looking down. There was a large pole protruding from his stomach. Breathing became harder as he became aware of the problem. Closing his eyes, he let his head hit the dirt below him.

“…Dean. Dean?!” he heard. It was far away, muffled by the buss of blood rushing through his head. He turned and saw Sammy, his baby brother, kneeling beside him. Sam’s eyes were wide with fear and shock. He blinked at him, wanting to speak but it hurt to simply breathe. His hands cradled his head before pressing against a knot. He hissed in pain. He was pretty certain his brother had uttered apologies, but it was further away. Everything was starting to become dull. The pain was fading away but so was his sight. He knew what this was. He’d died enough times to know.

“Dean,” came a measured, calm voice. He blinked up at Castiel, who had just arrived. He wondered how he’d heard him. He tried of smile for him, but he was frowning too severely for it to do anything. He closed his eyes again, exhausted.

* * *

_Three hours prior:_

“This is a bad idea,” Sam declared, his voice once more filled with that damn arrogance that made it almost impossible to argue with.

“Do you have another idea?”

“Well… no, not this time.”

“Then shut up and get your gear together,” Dean snapped. He looked over at Castiel. He moved over to him and touched his arm. He looked up with hope and something else in his eyes. He squeezed his shoulder and smiled slightly at him. This meant more to him then it did to them, though it would put a stop to the demons vicious yet slow take over of the world.

“I need to get a few things, I’ll be back,” Sam called out.

They were alone. Dean pulled away nervously and moved over to his things. Checking to make sure he had everything Kevin had told them they’d need, he zipped his duffle closed. Running a hand through his hair, he looked out the window; avoiding looking at the former angel not five steps from him. He had a reputation of being a man whore. He slept around as easily as others drank. In the last few months he hadn’t been with anyone; not that he was missing invitations. He often ended up with a phone number as he left a bar but he hadn’t called anyone or made any attempts. A few months before, he’d realized he had more then friend feelings for Castiel.  Now he was certain he was in love with him but they were about to help him go back to heaven. Without thinking about it, he let out a sigh and turned around.

“Whoa!” he yelled, stumbling back a step.

Castiel’s hand wrapped around his arm and held tightly. Dean licked his lips nervously and watched Cas’s eyes flick down to them. It took everything in him not to blush, because he was not a thirteen year old girl. About to step around him and run away, Cas spoke, “You’ve been avoiding me… why?”

Swallowing, Dean shook his head and offered a grin, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Frowning, Cas stepped further into his space. Dean wanted to back away, run away, but he couldn’t. He stared back as intently as he was stared at before squeaking in surprise. (He was never, ever, going to admit to squeaking; ever.) Cas’s lips were pressed to his, his eyes closed. Dean pressed into it, wanting anything he’d get, even if it promised pain later. A tongue flicked out, he wasn’t sure who’s, but suddenly the kiss was deeper and filthier then it had been. It didn’t take long before breathing became a thing they had to do. They pulled apart and he blinked, his breath gasping out of his chest.

At some point his arms had wrapped around Castiel and Castiel and slipped his arms around him. He looked down at the former, soon to be once again, angel. He was gazing back with a small secretive smile on his face. Castiel leaned up and kissed him once more before speaking, “Even before I lost my grace, I wanted to be with you. I stayed away though; you showed no interest in me. Then… then you stopped wanting to be around me. I spoke to Sam, I was afraid you hated me, but he told me what he suspected… Dean… Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes… I… I am going to sound like a chick flick, but I started having feeling for you, ones not based on friendship and I recently discovered I am sort of in love with you, but you’re about to become an angel again so…”

“That is stupid,” Cas stated before pushing him back onto the bed.

Bouncing, twice, he watched as Castiel stripped. There was nothing sensual about it, simply the robotic removal of clothing, but he was straining in his pants for him. He groaned at every bit of flesh being revealed before he was naked. He stared at him until Dean got the hint and stripping himself of everything. He was surprised when Castiel climbed between his legs. He had never bottomed for anyone before. The easy smile on Cas’s face told him he knew. He stiffened as he pushed his legs further apart, but there was no time to dwell on that before a warm hand wrapped around his cock.

Slowly, Cas jerked him until he relaxed. He stared at his face before nodding and reaching for the lotion beside the bed. It was used on Cas’s back the night before, helping him deal with the tension he’d never experienced as an angel. Now Cas slicked up his fingers before sliding them to his hole. He tensed slightly as he pressed his finger lightly against it. A warm mouth descended on his and he kissed Cas back. He held onto his shoulders as they kissed. Vaguely he was aware of his fingers, but he lost track as he enjoyed the fevered kisses. When he was suddenly empty, he lifted his head to see Castiel smoothing lotion over his own erection. He was dazed, unbelieving that he’d been so unaware of being stretched.

Fingers dug into Castiel’s shoulders as he pressed slowly into him. He groaned in pleasure as he took his time. He rolled his head in pain and pleasure, not thinking of anything and unable to form words. It seemed to be Castiel’s single focus to join them together. He clung tighter as he seated himself in him before they were moving. He made sounds now, certain he cried out Castiel’s name while he answered. It surprised him how thick Cas was, but he was more surprised by how Cas knew what he was doing. He suddenly remembered he used to sit there and watch porn channels when waiting for battle and dismissed his surprise in favour of letting go. He arched as he came all over them before he felt the warmth of Castiel filling him.

Painting together, he groaned as he moved off him. Looking over, he saw the worry in his eyes and the hopeful love. He smiled and reached for one of the discarded towels from the morning. It was still damp and perfect for cleaning the both of them. They got dressed quietly before Cas pressed him against the wall and glared into his eyes, “You will survive this, Dean Winchester. We are not finished yet.”

* * *

_20 minutes before the explosion_

“You can’t do this!” screamed Metatron from within the burning holy oil, “They don’t deserve it! They deserve being here! They should’ve never been left heaven! You cannot do this!”

Dean blocked the words from the only angel left as he worked the spell carefully. Sam and Castiel were with Kevin and a handful of other former angels. There was really only two ways this was going to end. Either the angels would have their grace back or heaven would be without the angels forever. He was hoping for the first option. He spilled some oil into the mixture before him and watched as the smoke started. He picked up the sword he’d borrowed from Castiel and moved towards Metatron. He was backed up as far as he could go.

“You can’t do this,” he pled, desperate. Dean shook his head and moved quickly. He was relentless as he drove the sword into his chest. He held out the crystal he’d already blessed and watched it fill with the grace. He stepped back as the angel fell. He swallowed before going back to his table and continuing the spell. He dropped the crystal into the bowel and started to chant. As focused as he was, he didn’t miss the smoke rising from the bowl or the way the earth began to shake beneath him.

Finished with the spell, he felt the power building. His eyes widened as he realized he should’ve done this in a field before trying to flee. It was a burst of warm air that sent him twisting through the air before everything went white.

* * *

_Present_

Blinking slowly, he took in a deep breath and coughed as the air aggravated his dry throat. He sat up slowly and looked around. He was in a hotel room once more. Looking down at his chest, he saw no sign of the injury. He ran his fingers over the smooth skin, remembering the jagged look of the pole and how he’d known if he survived being impaled he wouldn’t survive the following infection. His ribs were no longer broken and he was pretty certain he hadn’t felt this good for a long time.

The door opening caused his head to snap around. He saw Sam and smiled hesitantly at him. He dropped his food and moved over, giving him a hug, “Dude, I thought you…” he shook his head and pulled back, a big grin on his face, “Well, the angels weren’t going to let you. Considering you almost died to give them back heaven they healed you. Heck, you even look a little younger then before.”

“It worked?”

“Yeah, they all went back to heaven.”

“…All of them?”

“Uh, yeah?” Sam answered, giving him a confused look.

Dean swallowed air once more and coughed before looking away. He had hoped Cas would stick around but… With a mental shrug, he left that thought there and got to his feet. He stretched carefully, relishing the lack of pain before getting some water. He came back out and chuckled when he saw Sammy had gotten him a pie. He punched him lightly in the shoulder before they sat down to eat. They were going to take a small break before going hunting again. It was a well deserved vacation.

A few hours after waking up, Dean was sitting at a picnic table by the forest, letting his brother sleep in peace. He wasn’t going to be tired for awhile. Poking at the pie before him, he wondered how Castiel was doing. He hoped he was happy. Sighing to himself, he pushed the pie away and rested his head on the table. He promised himself he’d be happy with what he’d gotten, yet Castiel had implied there would be more. Shaking it off, he knew it was probably just a heat of the moment thing. He wasn’t human anymore.

Standing and turning he fell back against the table, “Cas!”

Castiel stood there in all his glory. He could feel the power that had been absent. He swallowed in surprise that he was there while the angel tilted his head and gazed at him, studying him. He rubbed his hands together before Castiel reached out and grabbed his arm, “I said we were not finished yet, Dean,” before they disappeared.

Four days later, Dean remembered to text his brother and tell him he was with Castiel.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://angeredthoughts.tumblr.com) with me?


End file.
